Because of what “they say” about assuming, I will instead surmise my thoughts on the owner of this car (who I can confirm was male).

  1. He peaked in high school.
  2. He tips 10% (12% if the waitress is “hot” according to his standards).
  3. He douses himself with AXE products in multiple scents with the resulting scent being Ew.
  4. He is over forty and wears skinny jeans that cut off his circulation and Chucks that bother his plantar fasciitis, but hey the college chicks dig it. (Dude, they don’t. Not on you.)
  5. He releases exhaling grunts that sound like the torture scene in Zero Dark Thirty on every machine at the gym.
  6. He wears sunglasses indoors.
  7. His opinions on anything social or political are loud and loudly uninformed.
  8. He should replace his tires with monster truck tires if you catch my drift.
  9. He doesn’t even attempt to recycle. In fact, he litters. In fact, the plastic bottle next to his car is probably his.
  10. He follows a creepy amount of women on Instagram and clears his Google searches at least twice a day.

For more pictures of bad parkers to judge :), check out http://www.youparklikeanasshole.com/


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